IF YOU ARE CONFIDENT YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL!

For some reason, a complement is like someone challenging me to a debate and I must prove them wrong!! “Thanks but it wasn’t that great of an accomplishment!” or “Thanks, but this painting could be a lot better!” or “Thanks but I still have a lot of weight to lose! Look at all this extra skin! And check out this back fat my bra is cutting into!! And look at how much my under arm jiggles! Can you say baby got back? Have I shown you my armpit fat yet?” The challenger then always feels the need to counter my rebuttal with “No way.. you look great!” Damn you challenger! Was my back and armpit fat not enough?! “Well umm I don’t look good in flip flops…my second toe is longer than my first! And I have a unibrow!!” (I showed them!) I might as well call them a liar liar pants on fire and say, “Oh yeah? Well thanks but NO THANKS! Screw you and your complement!! Complement me again… I DARE YOU!”

I used to think –Well, maybe that is just my attempt at being humble. (Yeah right, humility is NOT my middle name….it’s Fawn.) Maybe for some people you are just being humble (good for you!), but for me, by pointing that giant red flashing arrow at my flaws I’m trying to deflect the complement instead of just graciously accepting it. I think deflection for me does not say humility, it says look directly at my imperfections and judge me for them the way I judge myself, and it yells I lack confidence!  Well double crap – now that person who was trying to say something nice thinks, “Wow I guess she doesn’t look that great, AND it apparently bothers her because she stripped down to her skivvies to pinch at every roll and cellulite patch she could find to prove me wrong!” You don’t have to say “Thanks I know, I do look great don’t I!?” (I mean, if you want too more power to you!), but it is ok to feel confident in yourself and that you are deserving of a complement.

I’m guilty of the same kind of deflection/deception in other aspects of my life. SOMETIMES (Ok a lot of the times. Get off my back, I’m working on it!) I’m afraid of being judged, so I will harshly judge myself before anyone else can get the chance too. EXAMPLE: I try to keep my house clean but I didn’t get that gene from my mom’s side of the family called “IcantgotobeduntileverythingintheworldisPERFECT” (I suppose that is less of a gene and more of a hashtag, but you get the point) Even if I have just cleaned my house top to bottom, when people come over I always say “Sorry about the mess, it’s not always like this!” I’m afraid someone might judge that my house isn’t up to their standards (Because apparently everyone else’s standards are perfection!). They might think I’m not perfect and that’s just crazy talk! (Let’s be honest though, I know I’m not the only one who plays that “oh my house is super clean, but I’m going to pretend like I’m so awesome that this is what it’s like on a bad day!”)

IF YOU ARE CONFIDENT YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL. People see what you want them to see. 82% of being beautiful comes from YOU and the way you reflect yourself to others, only about 18% of beauty has to do with your molecular structure. (Refer to Rule #4… made up percentages, but it’s gotta be something like that right?!) The point is people reflect how to see and treat you based on how you see and treat yourself. I’m talking inside and out! When you second guess yourself so do the people around you! I’ve had to overcome this when deciding whether to blog or not. “What if people don’t think I’m funny? What if they think I’m annoying? Or it’s stupid?” I had to decide that whatever I wrote I was going to be confident and commit to FULLY (much the way you commit and love yourself fully, physically and emotionally!) otherwise ya’ll would sense that, and question me the same way I question myself.  

I’m not saying recognizing your flaws in a bad thing. Nobody is perfect! And seriously, who wants to hang out with someone that is perfect all the time? LAME!! I encourage you to explore your imperfections, but not to be ashamed of them, rather love them; be empowered by them; joke and have a sense of humor about them; and most importantly be confident that those flaws are what make you BEAUTIFUL; what make you…YOU!!

Tune in next week for “I’M SORRY, I ALREADY HAVE IT ON MY PLANNERTO PLAN OUT MY PLANNER FOR NEXT WEEKS PLANS. COULD WE DO 8 O’CLOCK?” or maybe,  “WHO NEEDS PLANS!? JUST GO WITH IT!”