I’m legally required to feed my children so the grocery store is a place I must frequent whether either of us (the store and I) are mentally OR physically prepared. (I feel like they see me walk in and grab their phones in anticipation for "clean up on aisle 1!". I often try to plan my grocery shopping when my children are NOT with me but there are times when I must suck it up and venture into battle. Some battles are won and some lost but I have hopes I’ll eventually win the war. I recently went on an errand run with BOTH of my kids.
At 7:00 a.m. I woke up feeling overly optimistic, feeling like a bit of a rebel, feeling confident and ambitions… and well…feeling hungry. (There was a time when feeling rebellious involved piercings, hair dye and possibly running from the cops… Today…? It’s trying to conquer a grocery list with two toddler that really gets the adrenaline flowing.) I feed the kids mickey chicken nuggets and a can of olives for breakfast and we get ready to go. My confidence was high this morning so instead of hitting up the local grocery store, I decided to make the big 25 minute trip to the big city (i.e. Yakima).
On the drive up I make a very thorough shopping list in my head. I have it all organized by where the items are located in the store. I do not write it down because I am an intelligent young woman and surely I’m capable of remembering a little shopping. list HEY LOOK A DEER!!! Damn it! What was on my list again…?! Oh well, I will just wing it. All I know for sure is that we need milk, butter, and bread.
Since I cannot remember my grocery list, I decide to go to Target first. It always feels good starting with Target (or Target as I like to call it) because it is a store I don’t particularly HAVE to shop at. But, the first stop is usually the most pleasant with the ol’ off springs, they are not tired or irritated by each others breathing yet. If you go to the stores you HAVE to first then when your kids get inpatient and obnoxious you are more likely to give up on your dreams of wondering the isles of a more leisurely store, and just head home. BUT while your kids are still fresh and smiling if you start with the places you WANT to go… You are more resilient to weather the places you have to go (I came to town for milk… I cannot leave without it!). For example I can tell an old grumpy a-hole at the grocery store.. “Oh I’m sorry are my whining kids irritating you…? I guess they don’t deserve milk and fruit like you and your non-whining old wife!” But when trying on a swim suit at Target its harder to say “Oh I’m sorry are my kids bothering you…? Do I not deserve to try on this cute little two piece while my kids hide between racks tripping old ladies??” Just doesn’t have as much of a ring to it… less “just a mom trying to provide for her family and teach her kids how to overcome temper tantrums in public and more “I’m slightly selfish… a bit lazy… and really need a new swim suit!! “Wow did I get off track there or what??!!
ANYWHO… I wonder around Target for a little bit then over to Big Lots. My original plan was to go to Safeway but I have a hereditary disposition to purchase as much as I can for the lowest price possible… “What a great deal on that car!! I’ll take TWO!!” I’m fascinated by BULK, and romanced by low price per item labels, sooooooo I now find myself in a Costco parking lot. Even if I have to buy 2 loaves of bread, 2 huge packages of meat, 3 lbs of cheese, a barrel of mayo, and 2 things of mustard my kids will get 1 sandwich for only 82 cents!! (I don’t bother to calculate how much bread, cheese and meat I end up throwing out because they went bad before we can eat it all… in reality each sandwich probably cost roughly $13.45.) BUT, Costco has two seater shopping carts so with that, the free food samples and the bulk it feels like this mom’s chucky cheese.
My kids are over the big city life by this point (i.e. Yakima) BUT (this is when I get on my pedestal) my children deserve good healthy groceries in their household!! And sometimes a mom has to go into a grocery store with grumpy kids to ensure they live a healthy lifestyle!! (See.. you feel more pity and admiration for me trying to just get groceries with hyper screaming kids don’t you? vs a cute new swimsuit while my kids play swords up and down the aisles using clothes hangers) Ok!! So what was on my list again?? Oh that’s right.. I forgot (thanks to that cute frolicking deer).
I buy a fire pit, solar lights, new sweat suits for the boys, new leggings for me, a dress, a blender, new squirt guns, some hats, berries, romaine, croissants’, a who bunch of frozen dinners because I hate to cook. I went back to buy milk but was distracted by paper plates and laundry soap, then went the other way and got diapers, picked up some bread, stopped at all the free sample stands and ended up buying some of that crap too!
My cart is full and that shopping cart with two seats sitting RIGHT NEXT to each other, you know the one I was sooooo excited about when we first got here? Well it has now turned into a hitting, pinching, “he’s breathing on me” battle ground for my boys. I am too close to the finish line to turn around and go back from milk and butter so I accept I’ve failed my children and try to get the F out of there!! While the fighting and trying to crawl out of the cart continues through the checkout line, I just smile and talk to the clerk pretending I don’t know the heathens screeching behind him.
We some how make it back to the car in one piece and head for home. The good news is the boys are somewhat tired. bad news..? I didn’t get pretty much any of the stuff I needed. I did however learn one valuable lesson, much like my younger days when I would be hungry for an adrenaline rush and a rebellion… it never ever really worked out… soooo next time…? I’ll hire a babysitter… and might need to hire a travel babysitter to monitor me and my shopping as well!!! I do believe there will be a day I go into grocery store and miss having my mini's sitting in the front of the cart. So though it can be crazy I cherish these moments I get with them!